The first 24

I was in the gym the other day when a sudden thought came to me. "How did I get to this point in my life?" As in, 'here I am at 24 years of age and this is what I am!?' Growing up, I always pictured my mid-twenties as a cool place in life where I would be someday. All of the good looking celebrities and successful people seemed to be in their 20s. It was just this time in life that I saw as far off. But here I am. It wasn't really a good or a bad thought. I didn't feel any regret or guilt. Perhaps it was the endorphins my body was generously releasing, but my mind was spinning and I experienced a moment of reflection.

I tried to recall the names of all the friends I've ever had. I went back to elementary and middle school and thought about people that I hadn't thought of in ten years. It's interesting to think about those people and how they were a part of your life at one point. When I was in elementary school, I was a part of a club called Odyssey of the Mind (at least I'm pretty sure that's what it was called). My mom could probably tell you what we did or were supposed to do, but all I can picture are the people in my group. I cannot even tell you all their names, but I do remember Allyson, David, Portia, Michelle, and Noah. I was definitely the shy girl, but I remember watching how outgoing and "brave" these kids seemed to me. I remember my friend Renn in middle school. She was probably the one who helped me get past my shyness. Not that it completely dissolved, but I came out of my shell a little bit more. Sports consumed most of my high school years and a lot of my friends were athletes with me. I learned a lot about friendships. Thanks to my good friend Leila, I also learned the art of sarcasm. We had a lot in common, but she was definitely the one with the witty comebacks. I'll always appreciate that about her. I went to college and met a whole new plethora of people. I lived in Australia for half a year and found out there are some great souls south of the Equator. It's one of my favorite things ever: to watch people from all over the world converge in one place. It's comical and amusing, extremely interesting and relatively easy, yet frustrating all at the same time. Beautiful.

Many people have come and gone in my life of 24 years. As everyone knows, people come and go in life. Some friendships form quickly and then dissipate as the seasons change. Others are solid and unrelenting no matter where each story leads. But I did not write this to regret the friendships I no longer have. What has become clear to me is that I wasn't just suddenly 24. Life happened. People came into my life. That is what matters to me. The friends and memories I have from elementary school until now are what I cherish. These people that cared for me taught me how to share life. I learned the ups and downs that are involved in relationships. Not that I'm done learning, but I was blessed. By only God's grace, I am who I am today. I cannot help but believe that He orchestrated every single person who walked into my life. Whether you were there for a week, a semester, four years or all my life, I cherish you. Your friendship- deep, casual or simple- impacted my life. I laugh at certain things because of you. I sketch hands because of you. I apply mascara a certain way because of you. I see sunsets a new way because of you. I expect great things because of your optimism. I love books because of you. I know what it's like to be lost because of you (or maybe that was me). I know what it's like to laugh so hard my jaw hurts.

You, my friend, are part of my twenty four years. I am grateful and blessed by your friendship.

"I have perceived that to be with those I like is
enough... I do not ask any more delight, I swim in it, as in
a sea." - Walt Whitman

It's a race, it's a race!

I will spend the next couple months preparing for a half marathon. I will be training with a team and learning how to properly prepare my body to run 13.1 miles. This will be my first endurance event ever. I'm quite excited and challenged by this! It will require lots of commitment and dedication. But running is really only part of what I am doing.

I will be raising funds to support The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS). The mission is to cure leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin lymphoma and myeloma, and improve the quality of life of patients and their families. LLS is a nonprofit organization that relies on the generosity of individual, corporate and foundation contributions to advance its mission.

The money I raise will go to the society and their research in stopping this disease. A small portion of it will cover the costs of my entry fee into the North Trails Half Marathon in May.

Here are some facts about blood cancers:

• An estimated 912,938 people in the United States are living with, or are in remission from, leukemia, Hodgkin lymphoma, NHL or myeloma.
• Leukemia causes more deaths than any other cancer among children and young adults under the age of 20.
• Since its founding in 1949, LLS has invested more than $600 million in leukemia, lymphoma, myeloma and myelodsplastic syndromes research. LLS-funded research has led to key advances in understanding blood cancers and has helped produce new treatments to enhance and prolong lives.
  

This cause is important to me. God has given me the ability to run. I have the opportunity, choice and ability to train and compete. It will be difficult at times, and I am sure there will be days that I will not feel like training. But I will. I will do it because I know there are people who fight this disease everyday and have not been given the choice whether or not they want to face it.

I will share the stories of the Honorees that I meet through Team In Training. These are people who have fought and are fighting blood cancer.

Your donation is very important to me. It will help me reach my fundraising goal.

Please visit my page and join me in supporting LLS. I appreciate your donation and encouragement!

“I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me.”

What makes us dream? What is it deep inside that compels us toward something else, something greater? Often a dream begins with an inspiration. We see a person do something impressive, talented or unusual. We witness nature: rain, a thunderstorm, animals, or the land around us. Nature has always impressed and inspired me. The weather is one thing that man is unable to manipulate or control. No human has the power to call up a storm, dictate where the wind will blow, or place a rainbow in the sky. Man will always be out to conquer nature. We will climb mountains, ride waves, hike deserts and swim through oceans just to get a taste of something distant, new and undiscovered. It’s in our very nature to desire more.

Sometimes there are times in my life when certain themes resurface and repeat. I’ll read about one subject in one book, just to hear someone else talking about the same subject, and then I’ll hear a song with the same ideas. I don’t really believe in coincidences since I believe that our lives are more than just mere happenings. When themes like this begin to surface, I try to pay close attention. While I believe that God will make Himself known however He chooses, I should use the abilities I’ve been given to seek after Him. If such repetitive subjects should arise in my life, is it not an ideal time to draw into Him and ask, why?

The theme of dreams has been surfacing through a number of facets recently. I keep hearing it come up in songs mainly. But, a couple weeks ago, it was Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Martin Luther King famously pegged the words, "I have a dream..." He was a civil rights leader who stood up for freedom and spoke these words in a speech at the Lincoln Memorial in 1963. Today, these words are famous because they were revolutionary at the time, and his dreams have become a reality. It would not be an exaggeration to say that Luther's speech, leadership, and life were inspiring. His dream was big. His dream was purposeful. His dream was noble. His dream was not personal, but it was for all. This is an important part of a dream.

How many times a day do you hear the word dream? Listen today. You will hear it in TV commercials, radio spots, SONGS, brand names, titles, etc. You will probably say it yourself. But what measures the weight of dream? And how much should you dream?

Okay, so we all dream. We all have thoughts of a better future. It's a hope of something beyond what we are living right now. I believe it is healthy and natural. Here are some of my dreams, large and small. I dream of traveling all over the world. I dream of meeting people from different places and hearing about their life and culture. I dream of running a marathon (soon, I hope). I dream of writing a book. I dream of marrying and raising a family. I dream of witnessing a real-life miracle (God willing). Besides these personal dreams, I have more beyond my own world. I dream that there would be peace. I dream of living in a place where people are concerned for the lives of others above themselves. I dream of a world without war. I dream of beauty, not death or pain or suffering. Yes, these dreams may be beyond our human abilities, but that doesn't mean I will not fight for them. If not on this earth, I will see them in heaven.

What are your own dreams? What are your talents? What is stopping you from going after your dreams? (and how dumb is that excuse?)

I actually began writing this post a month ago, and it was way before I started training with TNT. But I took on this challenge because I had wanted to do it for so long and was tired of hearing myself talk about it. I wanted to do it because it was something that I could be a part of that was not for myself. The world is SO much bigger than myself. I love to run and having a purpose for running makes it actually worthwhile (plus I really like to tell people about it). I have dreams just like all the patients, survivors and families that I run for. They have places they want to go and things they want to do it life. Cancer is ugly, and it will be a fight to defeat it. But I'm going to be a part of that fight.

Next time you have a dream, think of some else who has a dream. It may be someone you know or a stranger. Could they be fighting cancer for their dream?

The Giver.

Do you know that person? The one who is always willing to share. The one who always seems to have a gift or just "a little something" for you for no reason. If you think about it, you can probably pick out a couple people in your life who are givers. I know several, and I am blessed to have them as good friends in my life. Some of them I know casually and others I am actually related to. They are the people who are always ready to give something or they just always have that thought, "I think she would like this" ...so they end up buying it. Or it's that friend that insists on taking you to lunch even though you are trying to save money, and they, of course, pay for you- without a second thought. These are the people that are interested in your friendship regardless of the return on it. These are the people that devote time and energy to your friendship. These are the people who give you the last of the ice cream in their fridge. They are the people who make a fresh pot of coffee for you after they have finished off the pot. They are the people who bring you Starbucks when they stopped by to grab their own drink. They are the people who would loan you their favorite pair of shoes because they look better with your outfit. They let you borrow their new shirt that they haven't even worn yet. They let you cut in line and order the last blueberry cake donut that they had their eye on.

I know someone exactly like this.* She does not hesitant to be generous. In fact, the very notion of discussing generosity might seem mundane to her. It is comes secondhand to her because she inherited it from her mother. She is a hostess. She is servant. She genuinely cares. She's unselfish. She is a giver. If you know her at all or have ever been over to visit her, the chances are good she has either baked you cookies or her own (cinnamon) bread. yum! In her friendships, she gives. She gives you time. She listens. She cares deeply and is personally bothered when her friends are hurting. She'll lose sleep for you. She'll skip a meal for you and drive all night for you.

Yes, these are the givers. They are filled with generosity. Maybe this ease of giving is not something that we are all blessed with. Some of us guard our things. We hoard our resources and hide our belongings. We keep our nice possessions close. We flaunt our expensive stuff and shutter to think of sharing it.

The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. As it is written, "He has distributed freely, He has given to the poor; His righteousness endures forever." - 2 Cor. 9:6-9

How can we not give when so much has been given to us? Does not our generosity flow out of the grace He so freely gave to us? We deserve absolutely nothing, yet He pours out gifts of grace to us daily! Our stuff, our things, our possessions, our talents, our money, our health, even our awards and achievements are not ours. We are mere stewards of everything bestowed to us. How then are we going to live? Does His grace not change the state of your heart's generosity?




*I am not the only one who is blessed by her generous spirit. Julie is a sweet and gracious sister whose patience is much appreciated when it comes to my own generosity.

'Tis the Eve of Christmas

‘Tis the eve of Christmas and shoppers still stirring ‘round,
To grab last minute presents, if only to be found.
Anticipating a night of joy and cheer,
Some have plenty while others dread this time of year.
Friends and family travel far and prepare tomorrow’s feast,
To be surrounded by kin is a treasure not in the least.
More than packages with ribbons or bags with bows,
Whether the season is sunny and warm or it rains and snows,
On the eve of Christmas the stockings are hung,
And the fire is kindled for one night's worth.
Drifting to sleep the world awaiting, the best gift of all-
For to all, the dawn of a Redeeming Birth!

dear Sir:

I met you because I was introduced to you at a very young age. You were always a part of my life because my parents knew you well. I kept meeting people that knew you and would tell me how great you were and the great things you had done. There were millions of articles to read about you. I learned of things that you did and people you had rescued. You were a hero! But, I also learned about the destruction you caused. I learned about the anger you possessed. I learned about the laws you enforced. I learned about the justice you demanded. And I began to wonder, who are you?

I knew of you through the words of others and against what was written about you, I was beginning to struggle to comprehend you as one. I traveled to a town filled with poverty and need. I spent one week for three consecutive years building houses for those who had no money or food to provide for their own family. I brought warmth to their home by building a roof over their heads and placing keys to a home in their hands. I gave them a book that told them about you. Where did this peace and hope that I bestowed so graciously come from?

I watched the world crumble around me. The tragedy of 9/11 sparked a sharp feeling of anger. Deep sadness grew in my heart as I witnessed stories over and over of families torn apart by death. Terror had struck and now resided in the homes of Americans, and I could feel it. I struggled to comprehend how our world was turned upside down. For the first time in my life, I felt vulnerable. So I asked you, why?

Then I was driving to the hospital in Denver on Valentines' Day. I wasn't ready for this to happen. I did not have the words and I went numb. My gramma died, and now my family is missing a piece. This was the time in my life that I wish I could go back to. I was angry and confused, but mostly I was frustrated with myself. I did not know how to talk to you and wanted you to be so near. Why did you give me this pain of death to handle at this time?

I traveled to a land on the other side of the globe. I met people from all over the world in Sydney who professed to know you. I began to see you in everyday life. I watched people speak your name and give witness to how their lives had been changed because of you. I learned that you are not limited to one place, people, age, or culture. I believe this was the time you opened my heart wide and placed a deep hunger in me. You challenged me to know you personally, not just through the words of others. It was a joy to embrace you every day.

My life never makes sense to me. I try and try to figure it out, but it doesn't work- no matter how much reasoning or figuring I do.

"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?" Luke 9:23-25

I believe you, dear Sir, are my only answer, and I know my journey is not over. I am desperate to know you for who you really are, not just want I hear or want to hear. I believe you are greater and stronger than anything I could comprehend, and this is why I must know you even deeper.

The season is upon us! The holidays are here. Snow falling and the lights glittering. Extra smiles and warm wishes. Gift giving. Yummy food and celebration.But this lovely season is more than that. For me, this time began with nothing special or overly "Christmasy". I didn't make any big holiday travel plans or giant shopping trips or even attend any extravagant Christmas parties. Christmas Blend at Starbucks came out, menu boards at restaurants have added ingredients such as pumpkin and squash and pecans and chocolate to their items, and retail stores have flooded the shelves with red and green...everything. The weather turned cold, it even snowed already, and winter actually arrived. Somehow we humans are conditioned to make certain associations. Colder weather= end of the year= holiday season= shopping= busyness!= parties= travel= family= memories= etc, etc, etc (you fill in the rest). Distraction from the celebration of Christmas is inevitable, but for some reason this season I feel it more than ever. It is not necessarily from the things mentioned above, but it is a distraction that I suffer from because of my own lack of focus and intention. I do not live a life right now that is full and busy. I am not one of those people who has crammed a bunch of things into my calendar. I lived part of that when I was in college, and I will probably do it again someday. But, for the season I am in, it is not how I live. Therefore, the things I do and the events I participate in are, for the most part, my choosing. This shouldn't be an excuse for me to be selfish and lazy, but a reason for me to be intentional. I do have the time to pour into my friendships. I do have the time to read and grow my mind. I have the time to be disciplined in my work, exercise, and studies. This year the Christmas season has reminded me of how much I take for granted the life that I have. I have found that I take it for granted because I have not fully attributed it to the King.
It all clicked this year. This is a celebration of the greatness of our God. This is a celebration of the birth of Christ, our Lord. I choose to celebrate this, this year. This came last week in a very simple way. I was listening to Christmas music when I suddenly stopped and realized that there was something about Christmas that should effect me personally. It's like I had been celebrating the season from afar. I had been attending a party that wasn't my own. I didn't know who was even hosting it or what it was for. Sure, I wore the right clothes and said the right things and fit in just fine, but at the end of the party, I wasn't sure how to tag the pics (FB). Parties are different when you are there for a purpose. Recently I discovered this in full form: a toast! I have begun to introduce a toast whenever I find the opportunity is appropriate (which in my mind is often). I toasted Lindsey at her party a couple weeks ago. I toasted to her life and friendship and the memories I have with her. I toasted my friend Jacki and her beautiful new baby boy when we went out with two of her friends last week. I toasted her life and the miracle of birth and what a beautiful friend she is. I raised a toast at Thanksgiving to my family and everything that we share together. I toasted at my friend Tallulah's wedding for the blessing that she has been in my life and to her marriage. What I like about a toast is that it reminds everyone the reason for the celebration. It is a salute. It is a shout-out. It is a praise. It is thankfulness, victory, and love. It is a deep, sincere reminder that the people around are precious and the fellowship is scared.
And this is how Christmas should be for us as believers. It is a toast of the greatest kind. A magnificent reminder of Christ's life and what He did for us. A salute to His power. A shout-out or declaration of His strength. A praise to Him our King. An utterance of gratitude for the mercy and grace He gives freely. A celebration of victory over death that He conquered on the cross. But most importantly it is the recognition and acceptance of the God's love, His Son Jesus.

I know that Christmas has not always felt this close to me, and I pray that I do not see it as only warm thoughts or trite sayings. So when you repeat the words you've sung for years and you hear Luke 2 and you light the candles once more, raise your glass and toast to your King, born to save and redeem you.