The Luck of a Texan

I have known the great land of Texas since I was four years old. I've proudly called it my home and shared in all its luxuries: the heat, humidity, huge sunsets, miles of open land, dust, boots, cowboy hats and a rich, proud history. Bordering Mexico and the Gulf, Texas was a coveted land that many peoples and countries fought for. I find pride in knowing the history of Texas and what the men and women of this land fought for. Many came to the land to live, work, farm and raise their families. They chose the south, they chose Texas.



The history of a place gives its inhabitants a story to tell, perhaps even memories, and a sense of belonging. Stories create attachment and ownership. They tie one family to another and honor the past. Knowing where you came from makes you no longer a stranger but a resident and citizen. Texas is large and proud. We are the second largest in land size and population. Our major industries are cattle and oil, both which are quite lucrative. Bordered by four states, one country and the Gulf of Mexico, Texan culture is a big part of the Southern United States. Six flags have flown over the land, representing the six different entities that ruled the area. We like our fried food, but we love our football. And the place would not be the same if it weren't for country music and its famous natives like Pat Green, Robert Earl Keen and Clint Black. Texas is big. Texas is loud. Texas is red, white and blue. It is bold and serious. Don't Mess with Texas.

This is what I'll miss about Texas. I've known it for so long. I've grown to love Texans- their big hearts, their big hats, their big trucks...everything is bigger in Texas.

My first love, my loyal friend, I'll miss you dearly. I've had just the luck to know you like I do.

For you:

The Luck of a Texan

We have the wide blue skies with the heavy hot sun whose longevity is infamous.

And the colors of our spring have long dried and drowned with the sweeping of summer.

And each corner and curve is filled with the invading heat, yet with this weighty season upon us, we find a respite here:

For it is the luck of a Texan

to be under a tall shade tree

and to breathe in the breeze of the evening

and to know that the drops of sweat that form on the skin of our brows

come from a pulse in our hearts

that is loud and vibrant and resounding.

It is the luck of a Texan to endure,

but not only for a season

but for the day and the night,

and the minutes, and seconds,

and forever through this vast land.

But more, it is the luck of a Texan

to be close to the hearts of Texans

here in this glorious homeland known by many—

but claimed only by the lucky.

Two hands better than one?

Someday I'd like to be ambidextrous. I'd like to know what it's like to throw your elbow way to the left just to get your arm on the table and in position to write. And I wonder what it is like to make backwards check marks. And what percentage of left handers were bothered by being singled out in class to sit in the left-handed desk? Perhaps they enjoyed being different, or maybe they didn't care at all and just saw it as a necessity? And how many of us would have been left handed if a strong-willed elementary teacher had not corrected the natural tendency?

Is it at all bothersome to be in the minority? Or is it unique, possibly empowering, to know that you are mostly "opposite most everyone else"? Would my balance be better if I could do things with my left hand as well as my right? Would I be more attentive to my body movements? I envied the left handers on the volleyball court. They had the advantage because they attacked the ball from a different direction. Their whole approach and swing was different. I was never tall enough to block a hitter on the net, but I definitely learned to spot them from the back row to anticipate their hit.

Including our current president, nine past US presidents were left-handed. But were any of them ambidextrous? I'm curious. Surely those in the minority have the advantage to learn right-handedness and become proficient faster since it seems the world has catered to right handers. This just means it would take that much more discipline to learn lefthandedness.

when it all comes down to this

This is my big step of faith. I have never in my life had to trust in God so much as I do now. I have always wanted to be in God's will and tried to trust him in all things, but never before have I had to rely on Him as much as I am now.

It would be easy for me to stay in my job and be comfortable with the things that I have right now. It would be easy for me to wish that things would change. It would be easy to live a mediocre life. But I do not believe this is how I was called to live. I believe in a great God who calls us to a full life in Him. He calls us to live in faith (Hebrews 10:19-23). I want the kind of faith that Abraham had when he left his homeland and listened to God to take him to the place he would receive his inheritance.

I'm going to have to trust God every step of the way. I'm stepping out on my own and depending completely on Him. I'm moving to Colorado to go back to school. I'm going to study what I've always loved and live in a place that I've always loved. I'm going to spend as much time outside, most likely in the mountains. For the first time since I was 4, I will be living in the same state as my grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins.

I'm not sure why it took me until now to decide to go, but I'm going. I'm not sure what the future holds for me. I'm not even sure what tomorrow has, but I want it. I want the joy and hope that comes from Him. We are certain of NOTHING in this life. We are guaranteed NOTHING. It is by absolute grace and mercy that we are alive.

When I first decided to move to Colorado and pursue another degree, I felt like I was taking on an adventure. In a way, I am. I am making my own decisions and taking each day as it comes. I am grateful for what I have and I do not want to waste it. I feel called to something greater than I am able to know right now. I'm not sure what it is- but I have hope. I began to think that this new decision in my life would be a way for me to grow up and discover who I am. I began to pray that God would show me who I am in Him. Then...it occurred to me that this plan may not be about myself. My prayer now is that I may be able to know Him deeper. I pray that my faith may increase. I pray that I would draw into Him and truly treasure the people He puts in my life. I pray that my talents and skills and education would glorify Him. I pray that I may never lose track of Him as my Creator.

Thank you for reading my blogs. More than anything, I would appreciate your prayers. This is a giant step for me, and I am anxious excited about everything that is to come. I'll keep writing with notes on the transition!
Much love,
S

(You) write it down!

Pens. One of my most favorite gifts I've received is an Acme pen from my brother for my college graduation. He actually gave me a catalog and let me choose the one I wanted. It was a hard decision. I am a slightly indecisive person as it is, and making the decision on a writing tool that has been designed by professional artists was a task for me! The range of styles, themes and designs is extraordinary. The quality of the pens is exquisite. After perusing the catalog, and then studying the catalog, and then reading about the designers, I chose the pen "Colori" by Marcel Wanders. He has his own studio in Amsterdam and does work for many big name clients including British Airways, Droog Design, Flos, Habitat, Mandarina Duck, Rosenthal, Swatch and Virgin Atlantic Airways. I was impressed with his design, and the bright colors are, for lack of a better word, "artsy". And I love it!

Writing. It is expression, craft and design coming through in words. It's not just communication, but it is art. It's creativity in words- many, few, concise, verboise, repetitive, broken, made-up, foreign, linked, or jumbled. This is why I love words. And yes, I LOVE words. Words come from people. People are unique and convey themselves through their language. Language is more than just verbal or written words, but it is also in the tone, inflection, or gestures. Ahh...but I like the words on paper, specifically the ones by hand.

So this is where pen meets paper. Handwriting is fascinating to me. It seems to be linked to personality. Have you ever found a note and tried to figure out who wrote it based on the handwriting? Or maybe you've tried to read someone's handwriting that was really messy? Were they in a hurry when they wrote it or do they actually have sloppy penmanship? And how were they taught to write? Did some people have better elementary teachers who wrote on the board neater than others? One of my favorite things to learn in elementary school (besides art class) was cursive. I was so anxious to learn all the letters in cursive. I remember being jealous that my teacher could read and write in cursive! I thought it was exciting when I learned the captial and lowercase cursive letters. My dad would encourage me to keep up my cursive writing all the way through high school. Some teachers didn't care if we wrote in cursive or print; they just wanted it to be legible. Cursive penmanship is faster and easier when you are writing a lot. It is easier to take notes or write a letter in cursive because you don't have to pick up your pen as much and you can continue your thoughts with more fluidity.

Signature. A person's signed name has always been important in contracts, bills, certificates, letters and other documents. It is an official and undisputed way of authorizing a document. It is an personal yet professional way of stating, "This is me and I agree!" Nobody really teaches a signature. I would say it is kind of a scrawl that you develop as you discover how you like to see your name written. Sure, you may practice and perfect it so that it does not actually look like just a scrawl, but ultimately it's your mark. It becomes recognizable and memorable.

When President Obama signed the recent health care bill (H.R. 3590 Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act) into law this week, he used 22 pens. That's 22 different pens to write his name. So he wrote ten letters: B-a-r-a-k O-b-a-m-a. Can you imagine trying to write a signature with that many pens? He couldn't even use one pen per letter, but he had to make parts of letters for each pen. (He practiced.) This has been a tradition for presidents since Franklin Roosevelt. They give the pens to people who have worked on the bill being signed into law. A couple of the pens are also placed in the archives. So I wonder...do they leave the ink in the pens to be preserved? If so, why? I do not see the significance in that if it will not be used again. I say keep the same pen and use it over and over again for each bill signed into law. Wouldn't that be more historical? How cool would it be if he signed with the same pen Franklin Roosevelt used to sign bills in 1930s-40s? There's my vote. Hmmm...if they ever come up on eBay, let me know.

I can think faster with a keyboard under my fingers. I can think more freely with a pencil in my hand. I work more creatively with a marker in my hand. But, I believe I can compose much better with an ink pen between my fingers. There is something about the permanence of a pen. It's the smooth roller ball on paper encouraging me to "be brilliant!" I can choose a simple Paper mate for speed over accuracy or I can summon a Uni-ball for precision and quality. I do realize it is a little contradicting to promote handwriting through an online blog, but that is the way the world likes to communicate these days. Although chances are that if you are reading this online, you have, at one point, received a handwritten note from me. At least I hope so, as that is my favorite way to communicate. Enjoy words, and if you're bored, write me some!

The first 24

I was in the gym the other day when a sudden thought came to me. "How did I get to this point in my life?" As in, 'here I am at 24 years of age and this is what I am!?' Growing up, I always pictured my mid-twenties as a cool place in life where I would be someday. All of the good looking celebrities and successful people seemed to be in their 20s. It was just this time in life that I saw as far off. But here I am. It wasn't really a good or a bad thought. I didn't feel any regret or guilt. Perhaps it was the endorphins my body was generously releasing, but my mind was spinning and I experienced a moment of reflection.

I tried to recall the names of all the friends I've ever had. I went back to elementary and middle school and thought about people that I hadn't thought of in ten years. It's interesting to think about those people and how they were a part of your life at one point. When I was in elementary school, I was a part of a club called Odyssey of the Mind (at least I'm pretty sure that's what it was called). My mom could probably tell you what we did or were supposed to do, but all I can picture are the people in my group. I cannot even tell you all their names, but I do remember Allyson, David, Portia, Michelle, and Noah. I was definitely the shy girl, but I remember watching how outgoing and "brave" these kids seemed to me. I remember my friend Renn in middle school. She was probably the one who helped me get past my shyness. Not that it completely dissolved, but I came out of my shell a little bit more. Sports consumed most of my high school years and a lot of my friends were athletes with me. I learned a lot about friendships. Thanks to my good friend Leila, I also learned the art of sarcasm. We had a lot in common, but she was definitely the one with the witty comebacks. I'll always appreciate that about her. I went to college and met a whole new plethora of people. I lived in Australia for half a year and found out there are some great souls south of the Equator. It's one of my favorite things ever: to watch people from all over the world converge in one place. It's comical and amusing, extremely interesting and relatively easy, yet frustrating all at the same time. Beautiful.

Many people have come and gone in my life of 24 years. As everyone knows, people come and go in life. Some friendships form quickly and then dissipate as the seasons change. Others are solid and unrelenting no matter where each story leads. But I did not write this to regret the friendships I no longer have. What has become clear to me is that I wasn't just suddenly 24. Life happened. People came into my life. That is what matters to me. The friends and memories I have from elementary school until now are what I cherish. These people that cared for me taught me how to share life. I learned the ups and downs that are involved in relationships. Not that I'm done learning, but I was blessed. By only God's grace, I am who I am today. I cannot help but believe that He orchestrated every single person who walked into my life. Whether you were there for a week, a semester, four years or all my life, I cherish you. Your friendship- deep, casual or simple- impacted my life. I laugh at certain things because of you. I sketch hands because of you. I apply mascara a certain way because of you. I see sunsets a new way because of you. I expect great things because of your optimism. I love books because of you. I know what it's like to be lost because of you (or maybe that was me). I know what it's like to laugh so hard my jaw hurts.

You, my friend, are part of my twenty four years. I am grateful and blessed by your friendship.

"I have perceived that to be with those I like is
enough... I do not ask any more delight, I swim in it, as in
a sea." - Walt Whitman

It's a race, it's a race!

I will spend the next couple months preparing for a half marathon. I will be training with a team and learning how to properly prepare my body to run 13.1 miles. This will be my first endurance event ever. I'm quite excited and challenged by this! It will require lots of commitment and dedication. But running is really only part of what I am doing.

I will be raising funds to support The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS). The mission is to cure leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin lymphoma and myeloma, and improve the quality of life of patients and their families. LLS is a nonprofit organization that relies on the generosity of individual, corporate and foundation contributions to advance its mission.

The money I raise will go to the society and their research in stopping this disease. A small portion of it will cover the costs of my entry fee into the North Trails Half Marathon in May.

Here are some facts about blood cancers:

• An estimated 912,938 people in the United States are living with, or are in remission from, leukemia, Hodgkin lymphoma, NHL or myeloma.
• Leukemia causes more deaths than any other cancer among children and young adults under the age of 20.
• Since its founding in 1949, LLS has invested more than $600 million in leukemia, lymphoma, myeloma and myelodsplastic syndromes research. LLS-funded research has led to key advances in understanding blood cancers and has helped produce new treatments to enhance and prolong lives.
  

This cause is important to me. God has given me the ability to run. I have the opportunity, choice and ability to train and compete. It will be difficult at times, and I am sure there will be days that I will not feel like training. But I will. I will do it because I know there are people who fight this disease everyday and have not been given the choice whether or not they want to face it.

I will share the stories of the Honorees that I meet through Team In Training. These are people who have fought and are fighting blood cancer.

Your donation is very important to me. It will help me reach my fundraising goal.

Please visit my page and join me in supporting LLS. I appreciate your donation and encouragement!

“I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me.”

What makes us dream? What is it deep inside that compels us toward something else, something greater? Often a dream begins with an inspiration. We see a person do something impressive, talented or unusual. We witness nature: rain, a thunderstorm, animals, or the land around us. Nature has always impressed and inspired me. The weather is one thing that man is unable to manipulate or control. No human has the power to call up a storm, dictate where the wind will blow, or place a rainbow in the sky. Man will always be out to conquer nature. We will climb mountains, ride waves, hike deserts and swim through oceans just to get a taste of something distant, new and undiscovered. It’s in our very nature to desire more.

Sometimes there are times in my life when certain themes resurface and repeat. I’ll read about one subject in one book, just to hear someone else talking about the same subject, and then I’ll hear a song with the same ideas. I don’t really believe in coincidences since I believe that our lives are more than just mere happenings. When themes like this begin to surface, I try to pay close attention. While I believe that God will make Himself known however He chooses, I should use the abilities I’ve been given to seek after Him. If such repetitive subjects should arise in my life, is it not an ideal time to draw into Him and ask, why?

The theme of dreams has been surfacing through a number of facets recently. I keep hearing it come up in songs mainly. But, a couple weeks ago, it was Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Martin Luther King famously pegged the words, "I have a dream..." He was a civil rights leader who stood up for freedom and spoke these words in a speech at the Lincoln Memorial in 1963. Today, these words are famous because they were revolutionary at the time, and his dreams have become a reality. It would not be an exaggeration to say that Luther's speech, leadership, and life were inspiring. His dream was big. His dream was purposeful. His dream was noble. His dream was not personal, but it was for all. This is an important part of a dream.

How many times a day do you hear the word dream? Listen today. You will hear it in TV commercials, radio spots, SONGS, brand names, titles, etc. You will probably say it yourself. But what measures the weight of dream? And how much should you dream?

Okay, so we all dream. We all have thoughts of a better future. It's a hope of something beyond what we are living right now. I believe it is healthy and natural. Here are some of my dreams, large and small. I dream of traveling all over the world. I dream of meeting people from different places and hearing about their life and culture. I dream of running a marathon (soon, I hope). I dream of writing a book. I dream of marrying and raising a family. I dream of witnessing a real-life miracle (God willing). Besides these personal dreams, I have more beyond my own world. I dream that there would be peace. I dream of living in a place where people are concerned for the lives of others above themselves. I dream of a world without war. I dream of beauty, not death or pain or suffering. Yes, these dreams may be beyond our human abilities, but that doesn't mean I will not fight for them. If not on this earth, I will see them in heaven.

What are your own dreams? What are your talents? What is stopping you from going after your dreams? (and how dumb is that excuse?)

I actually began writing this post a month ago, and it was way before I started training with TNT. But I took on this challenge because I had wanted to do it for so long and was tired of hearing myself talk about it. I wanted to do it because it was something that I could be a part of that was not for myself. The world is SO much bigger than myself. I love to run and having a purpose for running makes it actually worthwhile (plus I really like to tell people about it). I have dreams just like all the patients, survivors and families that I run for. They have places they want to go and things they want to do it life. Cancer is ugly, and it will be a fight to defeat it. But I'm going to be a part of that fight.

Next time you have a dream, think of some else who has a dream. It may be someone you know or a stranger. Could they be fighting cancer for their dream?