I am hesitant to begin this blog because I do not have a conclusion. I work around people, lots of people. Actually 90% of my interactions are with strangers. Today, this fact occurred to me in a phenomenally loud way. I have forgotten how much I could make someone's day.
Today, I also realized that contentment is more of what I long for than success. You see, I believe that God, the Master of my life, has more in mind for me. I also realized that the most content and joyful people in my life are those whose lives are filled with people whom they love. This is what I am after. This may sound cheesy, but I'm just going to go for it. I want to pour my love into someone (s). For some reason, since I left school, I've been chasing this notion that a career and success would bring me happiness and contentment, but I've seen that life's deeper than that.
I had a conversation with a man today on my lunch break. He walked right in the shop and sat down next to me. At first, I was a little nervous because he had introduced himself to me before, and I thought he was hitting on me. When he started talking to me, he totally reminded me of my ex. Not in a bad way, but in that suave, sweet way that obviously won me over in the first place. I honestly don't know if he was hitting on me, but I just feel sad that I viewed everything he said with that in mind. Anyway, he started asking me if I was in school and what I was doing. I opened up to him about how I finished my degree in May and had not been able to find a job with it. I honestly dislike having this conversation because it discourages me, so hopefully it didn't show on my face. Now, thinking back on it, I am sad how i handled it. You see, in viewing my interactions like this, I have failed to see the situation from the other person's eyes. Who's to say that he hadn't just been laid off? or his mom died? I know none of these people's life stories, yet somehow I am selfish enough to bother only with my own.
As I was out rollerblading today, I saw many people and families out enjoying the weather and their spring break. I feel like I was able to see them with their whole story. I know that sounds strange, but I believe that maybe God was showing me that we humans are more complicated than our appearances show. I know he was showing me something. To be able to see people as He does would be eye opening.
This is not a very coherent blog, but it was necessary. Small, subtle interactions are often more alarming than a screaming child. Today was one of those days.
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